I spent some time many years ago in an abusive relationship, the hardest part was moving on from it and changing my life from what I had been so used to.
It’s not something I speak about often as I left that part of my life behind me and took a lot of medication, therapy and help from family that I could look past what happened and rebuild my life.
The first hurdle I had was being homeless. Of course, when I walked out I had nowhere to go. Luckily for me I had my Mum who was a great support at this time and I started the healing process that would take over 10 years.
I don’t really want to go into details as it may trigger things so I have decided to talk about my recovery and how many people are in a similar situation.
So to start off – when I left I had no home, I couldn’t go back. I had no money as this was all taken from me. I had to leave my job as it caused more problems due to jealousy and accusations.
I had nothing.
At the time there was no help, no assistance and you were left alone with ‘victim support’ which wasn’t very good back then.
One problem many face is money troubles. As we all know when you have to flee you are left with nothing.
Now there is a way to claim from a government scheme set up on behalf of victims of abuse through CICA. This is a scheme to help victims claim compensation to help with their recovery, lack of funds or even homelessness.
I wish this was available at the time for me as this would have helped my situation at the time and helped me get a new home.
I got back into work and started saving up as much as I could, I had baby clothes to buy, a new home. Everything you could think of as I was left with nothing.
During this time I had severe depression which got worse after birth, I also had post-partum depression that would change me and my way of thinking.
I couldn’t trust anyone and it took me 10 years to trust anyone again.
I was on and off SSRI’s which did not help – in fact they made me worse.
Eventually I started CBT and went through EDMR therapy which helped me process what happened and was very beneficial to my recovery.
I found dealing with it head on and processing the memories helped my road to recovery and I felt at peace when I had finished the course.
Now it wasn’t easy and the first few weeks the panic attacks started but the further along I got – the easier it was to deal with.
This heavy weight I had been carrying for so many years had finally been released.
Yes I am still affected but nothing like it used to.
It’s not something I am open with but wanted to say anyone going through this is not alone. You are never alone.
There is help out there even if it is just someone to talk to, just having someone with you and someone who understands.
There is groups on Facebook of people who have been through similar experiences, online forums with advice and tips. Safe places to find a friend, someone who understands or someone just to speak to.
Don’t go through this alone. You can even contact me, my social media and email is readily available to talk.